Skies Out, Thighs Out.

Happy birthday ‘Merica! What an amazing last couple of days it has been. Last Tuesday the Nancy’s Tammy’s team lit a darn fire under our feet and got to work on our donations. In fact, in a matter of 6 days we have raised $1,747.30… INCREDIBLE!!! Our goal is to surpass $5,400 and we are already 32% closer to that goal. I am in AWE of the generosity we have received – thank you, thank you, thank you!

I had the luck of spending the last week with my mom and knowing that my friend ‘Ed’ doesn’t have that anymore breaks my heart (cue the darn tears). My mom is my best friend and I know I take her for granted at times and that I get cranky (like yesterday in rain storm – sorry mom) but I love her so much and know I am lucky to still have her in my life. My hope is that the money that we raise in these next few months will help one family, like Ed’s, battling this horrible, horrible disease. Cancer is such an AWFUL beast-  it’s hard to believe that every 14 minutes a life is STILL lost to it… every 14 minutes a family loses someone they love so much. It literally hurts my heart and I hate it so much! (Ugh, ugly crying to Lindsay and Tallulah now, just great!)

Ok, if you want to give, please do… as much or as little as you can really goes a long way to help! If you want to hear all the ways just let me know because I was built to ramble on about this great cause! The Avon Walk even offers payment plans… think about it!!! Donate here.

So last Tuesday afternoon, Thelma and Louise (Sherry and I) hit the open road to our nation’s capitol (I can never remember if it’s an ‘A’ or an ‘O’ so roll with it because I’m too lazy to Google it).

Open Road

Our first stop was to see my Nana, Aunt Tracey and the trio of cousins better known as (only to Jeff) Bri-Zan-Ya, well not the Bri part (apparently she is too popular and gets invited to back to back beach trips… I see how it is boo). My time in NoVa (northern Virginia… getting fancy on ya) was wonderful, I don’t get to spend enough time with my extended family and I am excited that we will all be reuniting again in a month for Molly & David’s nuptials (I will gut somebody for the bouquet, just warning all you single ladies).

Sher and I set back out on the road on Friday making our way to the eastern shore of Maryland and for some bonding time with my sister from another mister (and misses), my cousin Becky and her peoples.

They took me to the most bizarre locations, which I loved…

Suicide Bridge

And their kids got to order whatever they wanted for dinner…

MIsses

Mister

For the misses… noodles with butter, apple sauce, fries and shrimp cocktail. For the mister… pizza, mozzarella sticks, apple sauce and two orders of fries. To say I was jealous of their meals is an understatement!

When we got home Kennedy, basically my mini-me, got ready for bed and before allowing me in her room told me to ‘excuse the mess – the neighbor girls made it messy’ and she has just had no time to pick-up. The amount of pink in her kingdom makes me insane and crazy jealous.

Kingdom

The next day was filled with baseball, playgrounds, cotton candy (it’s fat free you know), Chipotle, dead crabs, jelly fish, sailing (because I’m a sailor) and anger towards Jimmie Johnson. And then we left.

Back home it rained and rained a lot. I always prayed that I would find a guy like my dad and I’ll be damned if my mans isn’t just like good old Steve. I told my mom that Jeff was so bored that he scrubbed his house clean… like literally scrubbed. She responded and said the house and yard at my parent’s house was immaculate when she arrived home. We got us some good ones! Jeff even surprised me with flowers… someone must have been VERY lonely!

Rose

Sorry, had to be mushy for a minute!

Ok, back to what this is all about… donations. Please donate if you haven’t, if you have please share our link with your friends and family. Cancer affects so many people in the world, we are just trying to do something to stop it!

xoxo,

Maggy

What am I doing?

Let’s just be honest with ourselves, nothing about me screams healthy lifestyle. Yet, time and time again I find myself signing up for the next big physical test or diet that’s going to turn me into Kate Middleton well in my mind atleast, I’d even take the pregnant Kate’s body!

On NYE 2012 I registered for my first half marathon with my best friend since 1st grade the second year that I was in first grade, not to be confused with year one of first grade. Jeff, my stud of a boyfriend and I also decided to go all hardcore low-carb.

The first six weeks were awesome, really bang up job. I lost some weight, was able to run for longer than 30 seconds without having a stroke and my body was even starting to tone up a little. Then my first cheat day came and I fell off of the wagon. HARD. Like hit the pavement, landed in some roadkill and got run over by a smart car.

Instead of picking myself back up and dusting myself off I instead turned to pizza, ice cream and pinning running ideas versus putting them in practice. To be honest I did continue to run and diet – just not consistently enough to consider it beneficial at all.

And then it happened, race weekend done crept up on my chubby-self and beat the crap out of me.

image

Aw, look at the excitement the night before… yay for new clothes. Well you know what new clothes won’t help your chubby-self run any faster.

Image

That look may say to you ‘haha, that wasn’t very fun, gosh I wish I would’ve trained harder’ but to me that face says ‘am I about to vomit, I think two of my toes might be falling off and will someone please roll me from wine tasting to wine tasting.’

I won’t bore you with all of the many reasons as to why I will never sign-up to run a half-marathon or anything over a 5k ever again. Just know it was probably one of the worst experiences of my life and thank god I had Ashley there to coax me to keep going. Otherwise I would’ve faked some sort of illness around mile 6 and would’ve been carted away on a gator.

So with that all being said I’ve taken upon another physical challenge, one that I’ve completed before and probably only full recovered from a few months ago… the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

I left my job with AWBC in April and decided I would join my old buddies for the Walk in October by volunteering. Things changed when one of my best friend’s lost her mom later that month to this vicious disease. So I got pissed, because cancer sucks and put on my walking shoes and began training to yet again walk 39.3 miles in hopes of eradicating this disease.

Thankfully I am not alone in my journey this time around. My friend’s Ed (really her name is Lauren) and Jordan are going to be walking by my side. My stud, Jeffrey, will be volunteering all weekend and you are welcome to join the Nancy’s Tammy’s team too if you would like.

As Walkers – Jordan, Ed and I have each committed to raising $5,400 in order to be able to participate. If you can’t join us you can support us by making a donation to our team by visiting our team page!

Every little bit truly does go to help people in need in the Carolinas, trust me, I worked there for 3 years!

It’s going to be an awesome walk, well the walking part will suck but honoring and celebrating Nancy’s life is something I so look forward to doing over the next few months.

And Ed, I know your mom (or as your call her – your bomb as chick) is looking down, smiling and probably saying ‘I told you not to hate pink’.

One last shameless plug – Donate and make a difference TODAY!

-MKJ

The Wicked Witch is Back!!!

I’ve been watching a lot of Gossip Girl recently and man oh man do I feel like being wicked… but I’m just not that type of girl. Speaking of being wicked… cue the music from the Wizard of Oz when the Wicked Witch is riding her bicycle… My bike is back in ACTION!!!

I decided that with the time change, warmer weather and the fact that I was using some comp time to sneak out of work early today that it was the perfect opportunity to get my bike back in racing shape. 

So I carried my beach cruiser down out of my bedroom, stole a quarter from my roomie’s drinking purse and headed to the gas station.

It was a wobbly walk through the rough streets of Huntersville, NC… I even had to cross one busy street.

Just a girl and her hips and her bike…

I was even passed by 4 guys on bikes with inflated tires, really discouraging but I eventually made it to the local gas station. And voila, my bike was back in action…

 

So I waved ‘so long’ to my friends at the local taco truck and headed home… ON MY BIKE.

I crossed the big street again and jumped on my bike and rode off into the sunset… well not really, it was only like 5:30pm. The entire ride home I hummed ‘they see me rollin’, they hatin’… try to catch me ridin’ dirty, try to catch me ridin’ dirty’. Well most of the time I was humming, at one point there was a hill that took a little extra concentrating, extra breath and I had to stand up to pump through it… oh and when two cars were coming in both directions and I panicked that I might get hit. It ain’t easy being a gangsta on the streets of Huntersville, NC.

xoxo,

Gossip Girl

Blade Scare – Don’t Care

I am always the last to get ‘down’ with the hip lingo the kiddos are using these days, I swear I just learned what YOLO meant like two weeks ago. Last night as I was perusing the interwebs I found a shirt for my twins.

So today, after the crazy day I had I asked my co-worker and friend, Meredith to help me come up with a title for this blog and she nailed it. Blade scare – Don’t Care.

So for work we are hosting a table at a local Expo and today was move-in day. I knew it would be crazy, I just wasn’t prepared for how crazy. I sweated by pretty-ness off, literally, I only look good when I have my face on and man did I sweat every inch of make-up I had on, off. The day included one trip to Ikea, one trip to Wal-mart, two trips to the storage unit, what seemed like a million trips back and forth from the car and 20 conversations of why we didn’t make Allen join us.

We were on our last task of the day when the unthinkable happened. Meredith and I were stabbed. Yes, you heard me correctly WE WERE STABBED, with a blade. And it was AWFUL.

Now for the story of how a darling girl like myself would wind up in a position to get stabbed.

Well the booth we have for the next 4 days is required to have wall to wall carpeting. We needed a long skinny piece so Meredith ran to Ikea and couldn’t find a cheap runner so she bought a $15 rug that we could cut in half. (I still owe you $15 – sorry I got distracted) While she was at Ikea I went to Wal-mart to grab scissors or some sort of sharp object to cut the carpet. I settled on a box cutter.

Upon meeting back up at the Expo we realized we had to load the blades, dumb, none of this would have happened if the blade came pre-loaded! To set it up we needed a screw driver. Roy, the exhibitor next door said to wait 5 minutes and he would give us his. Well, we were impatient and asked the other exhibitor next door, whose name escapes me, and he provided us with his electric screw driver.

So we got the blades loaded and by we I mean Meredith because I am not good at man-stuff, but we needed the drill to get the screw back in securely. At this point we should have used the lever to lower the blade back into its holder, but that didn’t happen. Meredith began by holding the box cutter in her hand. Exhibitor #2, not Roy, said it would be better to hold it down on the table. Against her better judgement Meredith followed these directions, even though she would later say she didn’t want to. Being the wonderful co-worker and friend that I am I decided that with my brute strength I would hold the box cutter down while she drilled the screw back in.

Cut to all hell breaking loose.

So no sooner did Meredith hit the power did I lose my grip and the box cutter, which is open, comes free of my hands and stabs me then Meredith in the hand. I immediately saw Meredith grip her hand and I freaked because I had a premonition that this, EXACTLY THIS, would happen. (In 6th grade I went to spend a week with my Nana and when we were leaving Tyson’s Corner with a bag of Abercrombie & Fitch pants with bungee cords on it that I wanted so bad when she rear-ended someone, and right before it happened I had a vivid day-dream that that exact thing was about to happen, I should probably start to voice these warnings) I jumped to Meredith’s side and was like ‘Oh mah gah, are you ok Mere?’ to which she replied ‘Oh mah gah, are you ok Maggy?’ Confused I looked down and saw pouring out of my hand.

CUE TOTAL FREAK OUT ON MY PART.

I clasped my hand, Meredith clasped her hand, the unnamed exhibitor started saying ‘oh dear’ over and over again. Meredith, thinking clearly said we needed to clean ourselves up in the bathroom. There was talking of heading to the ER to which I freaked out and said we had to finish setting up and I had a work meeting at 6pm and then maybe I would go to the ER. Meredith stab wound seemed a little better than mine and by better I mean stopped bleeding, but not mine, kept gushing. We couldn’t find bandaids anywhere so we improvised.

Bandaids

I know Meredith wanted to take me to the ER but I fought her and she let me win. She even thanked me for taking the initial hit and breaking the fall cut for her. Such a nice girl. Happy to help boo.

We soon became the talk of the town and word of our death trap spread. When we left for the day we told unnamed Exhibitor that the box cutter was all theirs. C’est la vie jerk.

Still freaking out about my meeting I kept insisting I had to go and lead it, Meredith kept insisting I go to the hospital and she would take care of it for me. To be honest I am pretty freaked out by hospitals. Not so much the smell or people being sick… I hate doors in hospitals. I heard once that if there is a fire they will seal the doors and not let people escape. I’m 99% sure it isn’t true but every time I go to the hospital I freak out about a fire breaking out. I continued to fight her on the ER idea.

Once in the privacy of the car I called my boyfran, I know I freaked him out because he works in SC on Wednesdays and he was like all ‘are you ok’, ‘I’m leaving right now’ and ‘tell me what hospital to meet you at’. Aww, my boo. I told him I was going to do my meeting and if I felt like I needed to head to the ER near where we live and he could meet me there. At this point I was starting to calm down, my hand throbbed like hell but the bleeding hadn’t seeped through the bandage and I was feeling like a 5 and not a 2. Then he did it, ‘are you sure you feel like you can drive’… cue another sweaty freakout. He got me calm and I made it safely to Meredith’s. She even checked on me at each light and I did my best to give a thumb’s up.

Thumbs Up

Once inside her apartment she started getting together items to clean us up with. That’s when she noticed the blood on my shirt and my vest. Basically I looked like this…

Bloody

Ok, maybe not that severe but I did have to throw my shirt away.

Meredith consulted some friends… an EMT/Doctor/Nurse/Midwife/Psychiatrist and in the end they decided it would be safe for me to forgo the ER for my meeting and as long as I keep it clean, cover it during the day with a bandaid and neosporin and leave it open at night and away from my blankie  should survive… probably.

Here it is after we got me cleaned up, sorry for how fat my hand looks… it is a little swollen… probably from eating too much salt and not being stabbed.

Ouchies

So here I am… 4 hours after being stabbed and sore as crap. I keep complaining to Lauren about my hand, I’m sure she is thinking ‘then stop typing’ but she is a friend and a fan of the blog. She did promise to give me a sponge bath in the morning so I don’t have to use my achy hand and you know what good friend, I will take you up on that and I’ll probably forgo the bathing suit… if that’s ok with you.

So in closing People Don’t Kill People, Blades Kill People. And Meredith, I hope you new puppy is making your hand feel just a little bit better!

Why I will never indulge in Carbs again…

In theory I had what was in my mind the most epic and superb V-day ever planned! My perfect day ‘o carbs! 

So I woke up and got dressed and started celebrating with a selfie with one of my valentines.

 

Please note the Rags By Mags Scarf, made by yours truly. Speaking of I made one for each of my biatches to wear around town, you know promoting the business. Here are some selfies of the reds rocking the look…

Lauren gave a weak effort….

 

But Lindsay said, watch out Lauren and let me show you how it is done…

 

and BAM…

So I started my amazing day ‘o carbs with a visit to a local donut shop I’ve had my eye on since it opened in January.

 

The original goal was to eat a dozen on my own, that dozen turned into ordering 6, which turned into me eating two for breakfast, giving one to Heather as a Valentine as she passed the house, two to my mans because maple is his fave and finally one for an afternoon snack. Three, that was all I could put back in a day… old Maggy was VERY disappointed in new Maggy.

After selecting my donuts I rushed home to start my workday and noticed that some cupid’s (not really cupids but the roomies) left me goodies. 

Lauren left this adorable little goodie bag in my office for me… please note the goodies in the bag are hidden in my room and calling my name each night when I lay down for bed… ‘eat us fatty, just do it.’

 

And Linds left me a carb and some sweet deliciousness on the kitchen table. Please enjoy….

 

 

 

Sister knew how I was getting down on V-day.

So a little time passed and I ordered my most amazing pizza for lunch, extra pepperonis (gotta get that protein).

 

The afternoon got away from me and I was only able to eat a few pieces… again another disappointment for old Maggy. SMDH. To save any post-Vday cravings I immediately took it to the trashcan and disposed of all remaining deliciousness… a very low and sad moment in my life. 

Then it was time for a wardrobe change for what was sure to be the unsexiest Valentine’s night of all time. 

Yup, no real change just another Rags By Mags scarf, yup I’m selfish and choose two patterns for myself. And do you like that trickery with the camera, kinda a selfie/kinda not.

I also began brainstorming what to write in this amazing card that I purchased for my boo.

 

Don’t worry mom, I don’t toot in front of Jeffrey, I’m a lady who just thought it was a hilarious card!

So day turned to night and I was still feeling great, not too full, hadn’t gotten sick to my stomach and just a little filled with disappointment in the fact I wasn’t able to eat everything I planned to eat. It was time for our hot v-day date!

What did we do you ask? Welp, I had my mans wine and dine me at a burger place because I wanted a delicious burger with wonderful bread and fries… lots and lots of fries.

 

Yup, my guy likes him some ketchup. He told me this was his cheapest v-day date in the longest time, happy to help sir.

I toyed with the idea of a milkshake or maybe a quick trip by the Teeter for some Ben & Jerry’s but as we left our burgers actually just the wrappers behind we headed home. 

UNTIL.

I remember a Ben & Jerry’s store had opened nearby. My coworker Allen and I had an amazing free scoop day last year even though he took me to SC when there was a location 5 minutes from our office but I’m not still holding that against him and I suddenly had a craving for that peanut butter goodness.  So being the best boyfran that he knows how to be Jeff took his lady to get what she demanded, B&J.

 

And you better believe that I added a waffle bowl… go big or go home. 

I went to bed feeling awesome, loving life and my full little big belly. And then Friday happened.

I woke up and immediately knew something was off, I felt hungover and wanted to die… basically I had the vomit shivers without the vomit. I spent the entire day of Friday avoiding food and alternating between being too hot and too cold. From my throat to my lower abdomen I ached, like the flu but only in my midsection. Later in the day I began to feel like I was coming down with a fever and having blown a fuse in my office and my bedroom and seeing that I couldn’t find a key to our storage closet out back I decided to take a nap out in the hallway between mine and Lauren’s room. For those wondering nothing came up or out… just awful acheiness.

I woke up Saturday like a new woman. Life went on as normal. Then Sunday happened and wham back to vomit shivers. By mid-day I was feeling a bit better but damn Carbs are no damn joke and I won’t be having anymore ‘cheat days’ for as long as I live.

Ocassional cheat meals are a whole ‘nother story that I won’t go into right now. But heed my warning, don’t f with carbs.

A Stench Comes to Town

(I originally wrote this on Monday night but it disappeared mid-type but has since been found and posted on Wednesday)

Tonight I have decided to spice things up and do my blog post as a picture book.. so, here goes nothing…

Once upon a Friday a beautiful Princess named Maggy and her evil twin roommates (they have to be evil because that is how twins are in fairy tales, Lauren and Lindsay, received a visitor from the capital city, a Warlock named Megan. We set off for the big city for a fun first night out!

First we ate.

Then we tried to attend a beautiful free concert that turned out to be a heavy metal nightmare filled with lots of sparkly big haired ladies stuck in the 1980’s.

So we paid $11 for one beer, chugged it, peed and left. We then went to Heaven a Beer Garden and enjoyed some more beers. The evil roommates and the warlock all ordered 34 oz. beers while the princess daintily drank a 12 oz. beer, like a lady.

(The above picture is of the three of them, not me… remember I am the ladylike princess in this story)

Then we got hungry, like people do when they drink so we decided to bingevisit the magical land of Cook-out. The possibilities are endless when you are on a low carb diet at Cook-out.

Fooooood

On Saturday we woke up and fixed ourselves up for a 4th birthday party. One of the evil twins brought her dog also known as the princess’ coworker to the party. Coworker lost her ish and acted a fool at the party.

actin a fool

Thank god we didn’t get kicked out, in fact one little fella even made each of us little tiaras… little did he know that I was the only real princess there.

After the party we did what all 20 something’s (good and evil) do on Saturday afternoons, napped. A glorious nap.

nap time

Then we dolled ourselves up and headed out for another night on the town.

Bratz

We  ate some BBQ.

Yum

Drank at a fancy hotel.

Boozin

Lauren met a man.

Beard

He turned out to be a con artist so we lost him and drank at a piano bar.

Boozin 2

And headed back to Cook-out for another late night snack, judge away.

pigging out

On Sunday we knew our time with Warlock was coming to an end so we decided to do what we like to do best, eat. So we ventured around town to find a quick brunch spot. In case you are wondering there is no such thing as a quick brunch spot in Charlotte. After waiting 45 minutes and judging 37 outfits we were finally seated and told they were out of coffee. How.Does.That.Happen.

no coffee

And then it was time to send the Warlock back to the capital.

Bye bye

We miss her already!

Heart Disease Be Damned

So just about two years ago I was diagnosed with a weird heart thing and my family has a history of heart disease so basically I am a ticking time bomb… or I was until I started living somewhat healthy.

Right after hearing I was going to die this news I started Weight Watchers and lost 20lbs and began running/exercising at all more. Eventually, like always, I started slipping back into my chubby girl old ways. This time I only allowed myself to gain half of that weight back, major win in my book and I’ve started living healthy again.

So here I am 38 days into the new year so here is the progress… 1. I have only cheated on my low carb/gluten free diet every weekend with beer. 2. I only missed two days of my training plan… have you seen how cold it has been and sometimes it is hard to get outside on the weekend.  3. I am down 7lbs. 4. Jeff says my legs aren’t as ‘soft’ as they were. anddddd 5. I don’t want to rip my eyes out each day when I see people eat carbs. So all in all I feel pretty good about my progress, slow but I’ll get to my goal.

So you heard me mention my training plan, welp this chubby chick and her best friend, Miss Laura Ashley Taylor, are running a half marathon in June. Get it.

Half

It has been on my bucket list for sometime and after tearing my feet apart walking 39.3 miles last year I decided I would do one big physical bucket list type thing each year to force  myself to stay active. Lucky for Ashley she is getting dragged along for the ride.

This will be us come June 1st…

Bests.

Only younger and prettier, and probably faster. Get it.

We have a rule when we do races that when we see a camera we run faster and smile. Then we quickly slow it down as not to get a stitch.

So training has sucked but I’ve worked hard at it, but not as hard as I’ve worked on our outfits for race weekend.

Ladies and Gentleman, allow me to present Maggy and Ashley’s Half Marathon Wardrobe…

First up our shorts…

Mono Shorts

I’ll be damned if I am going to run 13.1 miles without some monogrammed shorts!

Next up our tank tops…

Pocket

Ruffles are an essential as is the pocket for my iPhone and Ashley’s iPod. Tunes are a must.

Finally for now is our hats…

Hat

Perfect for keeping the sun out of our eyes and for our bouncing blonde ponys! Sister is single and ready to mingle so we must make sure we are looking fly!

But as I mentioned about a million times over the last 38 days running is probably the worst movement I’ve ever done in my life and I hate every minute of it. And when the weather is gross like it is about 51 out of the 52 weeks of the year here I need a better alternative. And, in case you are wondering I enjoy running on 52 degree days… anything under is too cold… anything under is too warm.

So in talking with my roommate, Lindsay, we came up with a solution to help me stay slim and healthy post-half marathon…

Solution

Yup, a treadmill desk. I mean, I work from home and I figure if I keep it at a slow pace but walk non-stop all day I could probably do some damage, in a good way, on this body. You probably think I am joking but I am not joking at all. I am going to start watching Craigslist for some hot deals and then I am going to ask my man’s dad to help rig me up a desk.

Oh it’s happening.

And you know what else? Someone else may drop some pounds too…

Rat

Crafty Cousins (and the last week of my life)

So I have been anticipating tonight (almost as much as I am anticipating Valentine’s Day 2k13) for about two weeks because tonight was the first Crafty Cousins night!!!

I had my fabric cut, my wire hanger almost in a perfect circle and ribbon ready! And voila…

We are crafty little bitches, Amber. On to next month and t-shirt rugs!

Last week I had no motivation to blog so here is an update on the adventures o’ my life…

I made another pillowcase, really getting close to that Etsy.com store…

 

Then I spent some time at a Beef Jerky Outlet store…

Hell naw I didn’t gross, why does this even exist?!?! Ugh, Jeff would be in redneck heaven in there. For those wondering, yes, it is right by the race track.

Then I got to hang with my favorite boys in the entire world…

 

Youth league sports sure have changed, he was introduced prior to the game and got to run through a tunnel and a fog machine. I wish I started each workday like that… ‘Ladies and gentleman…. MAGGY K. JONESSSSSSSS’

And this little adorable piece of cuteness, also known as Ma$e, now knows how to point and ‘talk’ back to you.

 

And I wrapped up my weekend at a Super Bowl Party watching Lauren ‘twerk’ it…

I want to be on 20/20

If I could choose how I would die it would be in some explosive scene, something out of the movies. Clearly I don’t want to suffer so however it goes down it needs to be quick. But as sick as it sounds I would like my death to be turned into one of those 20/20 murder mysteries. Dying peacefully in your sleep is for the bird’s, unless you are mysteriously poisoned.

That all to say I am not ready to die yet. First, I need to marry my boo. Second, we need to squirt out some little mini me’s and watch them grow-up, get married and give me grandbabies. Then and only then I am ready for some crazy ish to go down.

So today, I had to cut ties with my cleaning lady. The twingers and I have decided to cut back so we can one day own our own homes. Well a compound. A central home like a club house, with little tunnels that lead to each other’s house and then one long tunnel that leads me to my parent’s house – just thrownin’ that out there mom and dad. 

So upon letting the cleaning lady know we would no longer need her services, instead of logically waiting to make plans to get my key back from here, I sat around and imagined how she and her husband would visit our home late at night and tie us up then torture us and probably pull our fingernails out one by one then maybe finish us off. 

So I took the next logical step and hired a locksmith to change out our keys. Totally natural response. 

So the locksmith arrived and someone lost their cool. I felt like I was wrestling a rabid raccoon.

Watching the locksmith…

 

 

And she wanted to get out of my arms to either run out the front door or attack the hipster locksmith…

 

Then she screamed…

 

I was about to dropkick her across the room when her mom arrived and took her (literally) off of my hands…

 

After 30 minutes of terror the locksmith was done and my coworker left half of her body hair on me…

 

I think we have both had enough of each other today.

I ain’t Afraid of No Ghosts, Yes I am

A couple of weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night to all of the lights in my room being on. Um weird. I have always assumed I am just a sleepwalker. But something happened today and I am pretty sure we have a spirit on Spruell Street.

So here I am sitting at my desk, minding my business and doing some work when out of no where a horrible crashing sound happens. I turn and find some of books (my office doubles as mine and Lauren’s library or bibliotheque for my french followers) scattered all over the floor. 

 

Those books have been sitting on that shelf for years, undisturbed. I wasn’t moving right before the ‘visit’ nor was my coworker. Speaking of her, she was down on her perch on the back of the couch and didn’t even come to see if I was ok. Biotch.

I recreated the scene just prior to the visit…

 

As you can see there is no logical explanation besides a visit. 

To make matters worse when I went to walk my coworker this afternoon (we do a circle around our home) when we arrived back at the back door we found the (dun, dun, dun) BACK DOOR WIDE OPEN!!!!!!!!! 

Another ‘visit’.

ORRR, when I was on a run at lunch their was a cop meeting with a lady outside of her home. Maybe their is a rapist who is on the lose in my ‘hood and just waiting for the lights to go off to attack. Hopefully he hits the downstairs suite first so I have time to throw myself out the window.

In other news my coworker was wearing her jacket today due to the cold weather. The jacket is a bit snug leaving some exposed velcro. Andddd she became stuck to the carpet this afternoon when she was visiting our office. It was amazing and took her a few tugs before she got free from the carpet.